military life

"I could never be a military wife, I wouldn’t like having my husband gone so much!". It is a statement said to me on a constant basis. My response has become " So you would rather live without your husband in your life at all, than have him gone sometimes?"
 It quiets the comments.

I met Peter when I was 15, he was 17. He had already joined the Navy. He had filed emancipation paperwork to join early. It was all he had dreamed of doing. Then I came into the picture. But they already owned him, so we had no choice but to build our life around it.

I do not love my husband less because his job requires him to be away. Instead I love him by keeping our home running well when he is away, trying my hardest to lessen his burden. I choose to be thankful for a steady paycheck and job security, instead of whining about the negatives this life includes. I look for creative ways to keep our relationship strong even when he is away. I teach my children to respect their Daddy and the sacrifices he makes to make sure they are well cared for.

How do I survive?

I keep myself busy when he is away. With three fairly young children, that isn’t too hard of a task. The first day he leaves, I know better than to make any plans. We put on DVDs and Mom pouts a bit, cries and gets it out of the way. Then I start with the busy-ness. The first week I clean like a crazy woman. Stuff that would never get done otherwise. Taking the vents down to wash them, cleaning under the dryer/washer, wiping every baseboard. Busily cleaning saves my sanity. Then we settle into our new routine of life without Dad. It may not be ideal, but we do the best with the life God has given us and try to embrace it with a thankful heart. We chose to be thankful there is a husband/Daddy in our lives, and the situation is only temporary.

For our family, homeschooling has been such a blessing in these last few crazy, constantly deployed years. When Daddy is home,we do NO school. We are available to him. If he has a half day, then we are available to play, or do whatever with him. If he wants to take a spontaneous road trip, we have no school obligations to hold us back. When he is deployed then we buckle down and make up for it. If we need to work until dinner time, that is fine because we can change dinner time. We can use weekends for field trips or fun projects we didn’t have time to do during the week.

I try to put more time and effort into building friendships with ladies from church, or in town when he is gone, since when he is home my focus is on him. I catch up on my leisure reading. I spend too much time online at night when I can not sleep in the cold lonely bed. I write him emails telling him every thing we do daily. I take lots of pictures to try and keep him tied in to every day life.

And then he comes home. And I cant help but wonder if all those wives who "could never do it" know what they are missing. The joy of being reunited after all that time is indescribable. They way your heart overflows with joy, and thankfulness is too much for words. It makes you certain to never take him for granted. It makes you thankful for the dirty socks on the floor, the dirty dishes on the coffee table, the muddy boot prints on the carpet. Because they mean he is home. And he is yours. And in the end that is all that matters.