Months ago, I started typing up notes I had taken the second time I read through Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl to share with some friends on Facebook who had started reading it for the first time. I never did get to finishing typing up my notes, but here is what I have. I pray it will encourage you ladies!
But she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Cor 7:34)
A perfect helpmeet…is ready to please, and looks around to see the things she knows her husband would like to see done.
Her first calling is to be of service to her husband, then her children and when time affords, her passion of service will spill over to serving others.
By serving and respecting your husband, you are serving and respecting God.
A woman trying to function like a man us as ridiculous as a man trying to be a woman. A unisex society is a senseless society-dangerously out of order.
JOY of the Lord is our strength..A merry heart heart is good like medicine
The day you have a merry heart will be the first day of rebuilding your marriage into the heavenly gift it was meant to be.
God’s will is for a wife to have a merry heart, a cheerful countenance and a glow that will refresh the most tired husband on the planet. Bubbling cheer goes a long way in restoring a marriage. Make a decision RIGHT NOW to stop the "poor me" habit. Put it down, today as sin and rebellion and wake up tomorrow with joy in y our heart and your home.
Everyone is drawn to a smile. Who and what you are is reflected in your face. Does your husband think of you as a happy thankful woman? Does he smile when he looks at you, amused by the cheerful little grin on your face?
For those with troubled marriages:
life is not fair, marriage is not fair.
Your responses (no matter how justified) can lead to the destruction of your marriage
YOUR NEGATIVE RESPONSES ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE YOUR CARNAL HUSBAND SUDDENLY BE THE MAN HE OUGHT TO BE.
*NO MAN HAS EVER CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER HIS WIFE’s CRITICISM TO BE A BETTER MAN~ NO MATTER HOW JUSTIFIED HER CONDEMNATION*
men do not repent for the sake of an angry critical wife. You can hold out for repentance and lose your husband or you can court your husband and win back his favor.
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Your husband will love what is lovely to him, as wives we must cultivate his love for us. Pray that you can remind him of the loveliness that first attracted him to you. Your husband needs to hear thankfulness, delight and appreciation when you speak to him, even if you are discussing every day things.
God’s will is not that any couple get divorced!
Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of God rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
A wise woman sets a joyful mood in her home.
A downcast, unthankful attitude is a dishonor to God and an attack on your husband.
Discontentment is not a product of circumstances, it is the state of the soul.
Thankful people have a view of life that begins somewhere deep in their souls, and outside circumstances cant mar their joy.
Joy begins with thankfulness.
It is amazing how your mouth controls your soul. You can smile with your mouth and say "Thank you God, thank you husband, thank you children" and your spirit is directed into gratitude with joy following.
Thankfulness if HOW you think; joy is the ABUNDANCE it produces.
When you catch yourself becoming irritated or disturbed at circumstances, stop and laugh at the little things that steal your peace.
Thanksgiving is good, thanksLIVING is better!
Are you daily remembering to thank God for your husband? Do you verbally show thanks every day? Would your friends describe you as joyful, thankful and content?
Philippians 4:6 tells us to be careful for nothing which is to say dont worry and fret about everything being just perfect, but be content with what you have.
Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
~Chose today, starting right now, to be the woman who honors and obeys and loves Jesus by honoring your husband
~ It doesn’t take a good man, or even a saved man for a woman to have a heavenly marriage, but it does take a woman willing to honor God by being the kind of wife God intended. It takes one will to be a helper. If you look at your husband and cant find ANY reason to want to help him-then look to Christ and know it is He that made you to be a helper to your husband, and it is He that you are serving when you serve your husband, whether your husband deserves it or not.
~You MUST stop trusting in your hurt responses, or the advice you receive from the world-for today’s media communicates a worldview that is skewed at best! Think from God’s perspective instead, and find that out by reading his Word and ASKING for His wisdom! He will give it!
What does God say about being a wife? Read these verses:
Titus 2:3-5
Ephesians 5:22-24
Colossians 3:18
1 Corinthians 11:3
Proverbs 31
1. God commands wives to submit to THEIR OWN husbands
1. God informs men they are to be the head of the wife
3. God tells wives to be subject to their husbands in everything
~There will be times when it takes FAITH and WISDOM to believe that God is good and kind in His command for you to submit to your husband in EVERYTHING. God’s command to women does NOT hinge on the man loving his wife as Christ loves the church
~YOU can CHOOSE to be in a constant state of anger and bitterness, or you can ask God for the wisdom to live each day in a state of honoring your man for God’s sake. You will need this precious gift of wisdom to be able to hold your tongue and be thankful when your flesh wants to strike in anger.
You NEED WISDOM TO SEE HOW FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF IS FAR FROM T HE HEART OF GOD
Commit to the Lord and say "Not my will, but Yours be done".
Psalm 37:3-8
This chapter had an amazing letter from a wife who looking back on her failed marriage wishes she had done things differently.
She said she wished she would have prayed positively for her husband instead of withdrawing little emotionally from him and letting her cynicism and lack of confidence in him be manifest. She wished she had openly showed love and acceptance of him.
She wished that she had completely trusted God and maintained unity, honor, reverence and submission with a glad and trusting heart.She wished she would have kept the children honoring and praying for their dad, instead of letting them see her martyred attitude.
She wished…
that she had not always put his opinion down, letting him know he was wrong-again
remained quiet and prayed for him and loved him anyway instead of letting him know what she thought of him and his actions.
that she had not been so cool, waiting for him to suffer a little more and be more intense and sincere about his apology
that she would have cheerfully complied instead of making him sorry he asked her to do something. Hardheadedness is not a trait to endear any woman to a man.
When he spent money they did not have she wished she would have remained quiet and trusted God, showing continued confidence in him, regardless of his decisions.
She wished she had borne all things and hoped all things and loved him unconditionally, instead of giving up inside and turning to friends and family.
Were you mad at your husband this week over something he did, like being late, speaking to your rudely or yelling at the kids? Did you seethe with bitterness and intentionally avoid looking into his eyes to express your disdain? Your husband may have deserved it, but is there any satisfaction in your punishing responses? Does he now bend to your anger in hopes of escaping your condemnation? HE PRACTICES FAULTS AND YOUR PRACTICE YOUR BITTERNESS, AND YOU ARE BOTH PRACTICING DIVORCE! Your children are watching and practicing being poor future husbands and wives.
A critical attitude is far graver a sin than his bad habits. You are guilty of blaspheming the Word of God when you do not love and respect your husband.
Life is full of choices. How you respond will decide your fate in life. LIFE IS NOW.Learn to enjoy taking out the trash or milking the cow (or whatever will bless your husband). You will be amazed at how God will fill you with Himself. How He will fill you with joy because you are in His will of how a wife should act.
If you as a wife are going to change how you have been speaking, it is not a matter of will power. It is a matter of thought power. Ask God to help you change your thoughts.
Do not store up in your heart an abundance of selfish thoughts and complaints about your husband.
Your actions and reactions become enslaved to your misguided thoughts.
*You were created to be your husband’s helper, not his conscience, not his vocation director, and certainly not his critic.
No woman will ever have peace and joy until her mind is filled with goodwill toward her husband.
Ephesians 5:23 (New King James Version)
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Don’t worry about the quality of your husband’s leadership, for he is under the oversight of Christ. YOU must answer to God for how you obey the one He has placed over you. It takes faith in God to trust , when all you see is one carnal man leading you to "God knows where".
Ephesians 5:33 (New King James Version)
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
One wife’s letter included" My rantings and bitter face will not make it any easier for my husband to come home to me. I just wanted him to love me. He already knew I wanted him to be home more, and he didn’t need to see my daily disappointment".
She is reverencing God by reverencing her husband. Not because her husband is a fit representative of Christ, and not because he is a worthy substitute, but because God placed her in subjection to her husband.
Submission, reverence and honor and virtues God seeks to establish in His Son’s bride. Your marriage to your husband is preparing you for your marriage to Christ.
Read what I had to say about Created To Be His Helpmeet here:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/angelnavywife/759818/
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Thank you so much for this booknotes. I really needed to read this today and to respect my husband more. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteMarjolein from the Netherlands